This is part 1 of 2.
In this first part I will tell you how I became an atheist.
I do this for two groups of people out there:
Group one: Those who feel weird about not having a clear opinion about what they are, not sure if they are atheist, people on their way out of religion.
Group two: Religious people who honestly want to know how someone "loses faith".
When I was about 17 my mother told me how she found faith/god one day. It was kind of her special experience on a pretty sad day when she finally ended up in a good mood. Not going too much into detail here, it is her personal story.
But this is how it started that religion played a role in my life. I was a little kid and until school started religion did not play any role in my life. Not at all. We had Christmas and the Easter bunny but I didn't know about the religious part of it.
So when my mother found religion it was on me to chose for school which religion lessons I would like attend. Catholic or protestant. So I was six years old by that time and I had to chose. I chose protestant because I liked the teacher. And I liked the stories he told us in the religious classes. We read together from our book and so on, he was fun. But after half a year he left the school and we got a different teacher and so I asked if I can switch over to catholic. So I got to switch.
On weekends I would get lessons from a nun at the place my mother lived with my brothers. The lessons where about God and about right and wrong, heaven and hell. It was for me to be prepared for my baptism. I liked the nun, and I liked church service. It was all in all a really good experience, nothing bad at all.
The day when I got baptized was great. Everyone was happy, I got to hold that huge candle, got a nice dress. I did not understand why it had to be done but it was definitely a good experience and I knew that now I am a member of the church, officially.
I can't remember my father sticking around a lot with us. He was mostly not home, I do not have a lot of memories of him. My mother and father were married at the time but it didn't work so well so sometimes he was there, sometimes not.
At some point we moved to a small village in Bavaria and got pretty active in the church community. Choir and bible week and youth groups and and and. They were very active there and we where very involved.
We went to church every Sunday. The Priest was really nice and he made church service for children very interesting and interactive.
This was about the time when I first heard about sin and hell and heaven. And as everyone was afraid of sin and hell of course I was also. I wanted to be a good kid. So from the moment I learnt what sin means I was very afraid to go to hell. I would tell my mother literally everything and she would send me to the priest to confess to get clean again. And I did that a lot.
First communion was important for me. We got told we get to kind of marry God. We had to be good kids, confess before so we are without sin.
I had nothing to confess. There was nothing at the moment I had to step into the little chamber where my group did the confessions. So I said that I dropped my guinea pig by mistake. I got to pray one prayer 6 times. But the prayer had nothing to do with my confession, for me it made no sense, though of course i prayed.
Shortly after this, maybe I was about 10, my parents divorced and I had to stay with my father. He did not believe in God, he did not send me to church or talk about religion with me, there was no prayer before eating. Nothing. I asked him about it, and he said "because I don't believe there is a God"
This was the first little seed in me.
For kids the adults and especially the parents are always right. So I had something contradicting in my mind now. He was the first person in my life who did not believe something that played a big role in my life before.
Religion took most of my spare time until that point. I had some different opinions about some things in religion but I had not questioned the fact that there is a God. It was just given and totally logical. There is the big father in heaven who is looking down and helping and thinking of me and hearing me.
The seed my father planted in me was good. It made me think. Even when I had moved to my mother shortly after. For some reason it made a lot of sense to me that there might not be a God.
I had a pretty difficult, hard time back then already. And I had been taught that God is loving and caring and all-knowing, that God will help those in need, that all I had to do was pray to him. Well I did pray but for some reason nothing ever happened.
I remember actually arguing with my mother about the fact that I did not want to go to church anymore and she told me to go. So of course I went, the priest would have noticed me not being there anyway and I did not want to get in trouble.
This was when my choice was pretty much made. And I sinned for the first time without confessing. While my mother was at church service I took something like 1 or 2 DM (deutsche mark) from her purse and before church i went to get some ice cream.
I didn't tell her and I didn't tell the priest. I told no one and i was not afraid to go to hell. My problem with hell was solved because if there is no God there is no hell. It was my own choice to do right or wrong. For a few weeks I chose to do that with the icecream, and at some point I actually felt bad about it. Not because of hell but because I started to realize that this is not my money, that someone worked for it, and it is not fair to take it, so I decided to stop it.
About one or two years later we moved into another village.
I went to church there exactly once, I hated it and I told my mother that I won't go again. And she accepted it.
I didn't know the word atheist by that time but I knew that I do not believe in God anymore.
It felt weird. I was 13 by that time. Sometimes I found myself feeling observed. I had a weird feeling that someone is observing everyone of my steps but never revealing himself. Somehow the whole religious life before had not worn off at all. Sometimes I felt I had to pray, sometimes I felt I should go to church in the old village, sometimes I missed the activities. It took me about 4 years (10 - 14) to really get over it.
Then we moved again, into a bigger city nearby. Religion didn't have any role in my life anymore but the fact that i felt I had to believe in something. This was the only thing remaining. "I can't just not believe in anything" So I started looking for the right religion. I read about a lot of different ways of believing, systems I liked and did not like. What I liked a lot was Buddhism for the simple fact that there is not God but Buddha who is no god. I also started being interested in witchcraft a little.
When I was 15 I got the third catholic sacrament. I didn't do it for me but for my mother who would have been very sad otherwise (though she wouldn't confess that).
When I was 21 I switched over to the protestant church. I did not believe in it at all anymore, neither in Buddhism, witchcraft was interesting for me though. Very interesting indeed. I switched churches for the fact that for my profession I had to stay in some church and I got to the point where I hated catholic church so I left.
Privately I got very active in witchcraft which, by now, I would call it a religion but that's a topic for another day.
It stayed like that until I was 25. Though the more things I tried to do with all my cool witchcraft powers and energies from the universe, the less it worked.
And I discovered that in fact I can't do anything without actually doing it instead of just thinking it. And I started reading a lot and trying even harder and even more but nothing worked.
I used the Internet to find out more, watch clips, read things. About witchcraft, about different religions.
And during all the searching and reading it became clear to me that all these believe systems are bogus.
I am 27 years old now at the time I am posting this, and only now I can say I am almost completely free.
I am atheist which means I do not believe in God. I would say I am agnostic atheist because I can't know but evidence points against an existence of a God.
I am also a Freethinker, and this is what I will talk about in Part 2.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
experiment with your mind
A little experiment for you:
Think about your hobbies. What do you like? Walking the dog? Maybe playing some Backgammon? Chatting online? Did you find something? Your favourite hobby? Can you find a noun that discribes you as a person with this hobby? Like Tennis Player or Environmentalist...
Great!
Now think about your favourit animal please. Got it? Same thing as before, is there a noun? Are you a "Cat Person" or a "Dog lover" or something else?
Next one!
Your lifestyle. Are you an "Early bird", a "Vegiterian", a "Sleepy head", a "Smoker", a "Couch Potato", even more than one?
How many nouns like that did you find for yourself? 5, 10, more?
Maybe by now you get where I am going with this. If not:
People tend to put labels on everything. It is in our nature, it helps us understanding the world better. And there is in general nothing wrong with it.
We are social and like to be in groups that share same interest, and how build groups like that if we do not label ourselves.
But there is a label that some people in that group just refuse to use. It has such a bad "spirit".
"Atheist" a person that does not believe in a God or in Gods. This is all. But the word has this weird power to make a person with that label seem bad.
Why is that so?
Well If the majority of people around you use it in a negative way it gets stuck in your mind like that period. If you grow up in a very religious place and people keep talking about atheists in a very negative way then this is what you associate with it and if you finally discover that somehow you do not believe and should call yourself that you get a weird feeling of "i don't want to be called that".
Understandable.
Not only from that perspective
The other point is, if I am labelling myself with things I don't like or believe in I will get a ridicolously long list of things. We already have our long list from the beginning with things we do like. Now do we need that for the opposite too? I am a "no beer drinker" and a "a-unicornist" and a "no TV owner" and a "no ego shooter player" and a "a-flying spagettimonsterist" and a lot more. Get the point.
What did I want to say here?
>> If you do not like to label yourself but don't try to stop others labelling you because you can't.
>> If you are an atheist and you do not like the word, don't use it but don't expect others to stop using it.
Think about your hobbies. What do you like? Walking the dog? Maybe playing some Backgammon? Chatting online? Did you find something? Your favourite hobby? Can you find a noun that discribes you as a person with this hobby? Like Tennis Player or Environmentalist...
Great!
Now think about your favourit animal please. Got it? Same thing as before, is there a noun? Are you a "Cat Person" or a "Dog lover" or something else?
Next one!
Your lifestyle. Are you an "Early bird", a "Vegiterian", a "Sleepy head", a "Smoker", a "Couch Potato", even more than one?
How many nouns like that did you find for yourself? 5, 10, more?
Maybe by now you get where I am going with this. If not:
People tend to put labels on everything. It is in our nature, it helps us understanding the world better. And there is in general nothing wrong with it.
We are social and like to be in groups that share same interest, and how build groups like that if we do not label ourselves.
But there is a label that some people in that group just refuse to use. It has such a bad "spirit".
"Atheist" a person that does not believe in a God or in Gods. This is all. But the word has this weird power to make a person with that label seem bad.
Why is that so?
Well If the majority of people around you use it in a negative way it gets stuck in your mind like that period. If you grow up in a very religious place and people keep talking about atheists in a very negative way then this is what you associate with it and if you finally discover that somehow you do not believe and should call yourself that you get a weird feeling of "i don't want to be called that".
Understandable.
Not only from that perspective
The other point is, if I am labelling myself with things I don't like or believe in I will get a ridicolously long list of things. We already have our long list from the beginning with things we do like. Now do we need that for the opposite too? I am a "no beer drinker" and a "a-unicornist" and a "no TV owner" and a "no ego shooter player" and a "a-flying spagettimonsterist" and a lot more. Get the point.
What did I want to say here?
>> If you do not like to label yourself but don't try to stop others labelling you because you can't.
>> If you are an atheist and you do not like the word, don't use it but don't expect others to stop using it.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Preparing your kids
Some atheist parents in very religious countries might have concerns about preschools / schools.
Reasonable to be concerned if you do not wish your child to be educated in religion or to attend on religious services.
Often there is the possibility to "opt out" your child of all religious activities.
Two examples:
In Germany you can decide wether your child takes the subject "religion" or "ethics". This is very easy, parents simply decide this and as schools mostly are managed by the state or city, there is no problem.
In Ireland you can opt out you kid of the subject "religion" but the default would be to take it. Problem there is, that your kid has no right to be supervised during the time it does not attend. This is because most schools there are church regulated.
But it is not only school, subjects that you might worry about.
People are talking. Kids can be cruel to each other when one is singled out on some activities (like in this case religious activities).
So you might wanna prepare your kids for this situation as well as for being asked questions or getting into conversations.
Maybe a few ideas - a bit of brainstorming - for parents:
When they are toddlers (about 0 - 2 yrs) there is not yet much to prepare them for.
Even if they are in a religious environment, they don't yet understand or process the concepts of religion.
But once they reach preschool and school age (about 3+ years) you want them to be in a mindset that is healthy and strong already.
A few questions and answers that might come up during kindergarten and school:
Q: Why can't/don't we celebrate easter,christmas, thanksgiving, xyz?
A: Because we do not share the religion. They believe in some things that we do not believe in, but we have our own celebrations that they don't have.
Q: Can we visit the church/mosque/monestary?
A: Yes, we can!
YES you can!!! Very important. Never make it forbidden, visit, explain things there, but do this from an "outsider position". For example "Look, this is where the Jews pray. The women sit here and the men sit there and look they wear those little hats. Do you see this roll, it is there scriptiure where they read their stories from. Like the book about animals we have at home. They read the stories to each other like we do at home."
Q: Why do they believe xyz?
Now this is of course very tricky, you as an adult know how but, explaining all these social, political and personal things is not only long but also boring for a kid. Something that might be a good idea, to actually talk to people who believe. Friends, preachers... But make sure that you are available for any questions after that, so your kid doesn't get confused about things.
Q: Why do we not believe in xyz?
First explain what "believe" in this context means, then explain why. Reason, proof, etc
Of course these are just some ideas, you might find better ways.
Something that sounds logical but lots of parents do not think about this for some reason:
Only explain as far as your child understands and is able to process. To tell a 4-yrs old child about social and political or even psychological things about religion doesn't work. They don't understand it yet. Keep it simple and the older your child gets the more detailed you can be when you explain things. You can talk about it with a 14 year old person in much greater detail. Don't force anything but stay available.
If you have more ideas, hints, experience feel free to comment.
Reasonable to be concerned if you do not wish your child to be educated in religion or to attend on religious services.
Often there is the possibility to "opt out" your child of all religious activities.
Two examples:
In Germany you can decide wether your child takes the subject "religion" or "ethics". This is very easy, parents simply decide this and as schools mostly are managed by the state or city, there is no problem.
In Ireland you can opt out you kid of the subject "religion" but the default would be to take it. Problem there is, that your kid has no right to be supervised during the time it does not attend. This is because most schools there are church regulated.
But it is not only school, subjects that you might worry about.
People are talking. Kids can be cruel to each other when one is singled out on some activities (like in this case religious activities).
So you might wanna prepare your kids for this situation as well as for being asked questions or getting into conversations.
Maybe a few ideas - a bit of brainstorming - for parents:
When they are toddlers (about 0 - 2 yrs) there is not yet much to prepare them for.
Even if they are in a religious environment, they don't yet understand or process the concepts of religion.
But once they reach preschool and school age (about 3+ years) you want them to be in a mindset that is healthy and strong already.
A few questions and answers that might come up during kindergarten and school:
Q: Why can't/don't we celebrate easter,christmas, thanksgiving, xyz?
A: Because we do not share the religion. They believe in some things that we do not believe in, but we have our own celebrations that they don't have.
Q: Can we visit the church/mosque/monestary?
A: Yes, we can!
YES you can!!! Very important. Never make it forbidden, visit, explain things there, but do this from an "outsider position". For example "Look, this is where the Jews pray. The women sit here and the men sit there and look they wear those little hats. Do you see this roll, it is there scriptiure where they read their stories from. Like the book about animals we have at home. They read the stories to each other like we do at home."
Q: Why do they believe xyz?
Now this is of course very tricky, you as an adult know how but, explaining all these social, political and personal things is not only long but also boring for a kid. Something that might be a good idea, to actually talk to people who believe. Friends, preachers... But make sure that you are available for any questions after that, so your kid doesn't get confused about things.
Q: Why do we not believe in xyz?
First explain what "believe" in this context means, then explain why. Reason, proof, etc
Of course these are just some ideas, you might find better ways.
Something that sounds logical but lots of parents do not think about this for some reason:
Only explain as far as your child understands and is able to process. To tell a 4-yrs old child about social and political or even psychological things about religion doesn't work. They don't understand it yet. Keep it simple and the older your child gets the more detailed you can be when you explain things. You can talk about it with a 14 year old person in much greater detail. Don't force anything but stay available.
If you have more ideas, hints, experience feel free to comment.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
God Bless You - I Will Pray For You
Ok I as an atheist living in a very Christian country hear that. Especially around Christmas, Easter time, etc. But also on other occasions like helping an old lady crossing the street (yes there are still people out there, doing that).
Many atheists react almost allergic to "God bless you" or "I will pray for you"
There are certain points I would like to address on this matter:
1. Some of the people actually really mean what they say. They are thankful or want to simply wish you something nice. They say it with a smile on their faces and a glow in their eyes. Yes, they mean it. They believe in God and in prayer and they know that what they just said is something very nice. They assume that you are believing what they believe and that you find it very nice to be told something like that.
2. Some people use it as a "f*** you". That's often in situations when they know they can't argue, or they are annoyed, sad, etc. And a line like "I am sorry you can't understand my point of view. I will pray for you" Meaning "I hope you will understand soon but for now I am not open to discuss more!" or in short "leave me the f*** alone!" will be very annoying to you but grow up, get over it. Taking it as offence is only stressful for you and not helping or changing anything.
I made a few observations and found out some stuff when it is about "God bless you" and so on.
I do not believe and I don't have to agree on the religion but nice people who want to tell you something nice around Christmas time they want you to say something nice back. They say "Merry Christmas" and (by now) I respond the same way. I smile and say, "Thanks, you too" and then I close the door and live my atheist life. Saying it won't kill me, I do not have to go to church on Sunday mornings, when sane people sleep. I will not tell them "I will pray for you" and I will not be the first in the conversation who says "Happy Thanksgiving" but I will respond nicely.
I also know that many atheist are so allergic to it because they don't really understand something important. It is not simple ignorance that makes those people say that. They are brought up in a system where you get to think very religious, where you know that people around you either think your way or will think your way soon if you work on them. Their religious behaviour also has a way of talking in it. Wishes like "God bless you" and "I will pray for you" are so deeply stuck in them that you will not get it out of them, especially not if you react totally pissed.
Any of you atheists out there who tells me that a "thanks god!" or something similar never slips out of there mouth sometimes is a liar. Sorry to say that.
Yes religion is so hard to get out of you and me.
Don't blame those who are still brainwashed for your unhappiness that it is still not completely out of you....
Cheers and 'till next time
Many atheists react almost allergic to "God bless you" or "I will pray for you"
There are certain points I would like to address on this matter:
1. Some of the people actually really mean what they say. They are thankful or want to simply wish you something nice. They say it with a smile on their faces and a glow in their eyes. Yes, they mean it. They believe in God and in prayer and they know that what they just said is something very nice. They assume that you are believing what they believe and that you find it very nice to be told something like that.
2. Some people use it as a "f*** you". That's often in situations when they know they can't argue, or they are annoyed, sad, etc. And a line like "I am sorry you can't understand my point of view. I will pray for you" Meaning "I hope you will understand soon but for now I am not open to discuss more!" or in short "leave me the f*** alone!" will be very annoying to you but grow up, get over it. Taking it as offence is only stressful for you and not helping or changing anything.
I made a few observations and found out some stuff when it is about "God bless you" and so on.
I do not believe and I don't have to agree on the religion but nice people who want to tell you something nice around Christmas time they want you to say something nice back. They say "Merry Christmas" and (by now) I respond the same way. I smile and say, "Thanks, you too" and then I close the door and live my atheist life. Saying it won't kill me, I do not have to go to church on Sunday mornings, when sane people sleep. I will not tell them "I will pray for you" and I will not be the first in the conversation who says "Happy Thanksgiving" but I will respond nicely.
I also know that many atheist are so allergic to it because they don't really understand something important. It is not simple ignorance that makes those people say that. They are brought up in a system where you get to think very religious, where you know that people around you either think your way or will think your way soon if you work on them. Their religious behaviour also has a way of talking in it. Wishes like "God bless you" and "I will pray for you" are so deeply stuck in them that you will not get it out of them, especially not if you react totally pissed.
Any of you atheists out there who tells me that a "thanks god!" or something similar never slips out of there mouth sometimes is a liar. Sorry to say that.
Yes religion is so hard to get out of you and me.
Don't blame those who are still brainwashed for your unhappiness that it is still not completely out of you....
Cheers and 'till next time
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Bible Part 1 (Genesis)
Genesis (Chapter 1 + 2)
In Genesis chapter one we read about the first few days.
We learn that god likes to give one thing two names even if he is the only one who could care at all (light/ day - darkness/night)
We learn that there was already a difference between day and night, even if no stars or anything on the sky was made yet.
We learn that everything was full of water and that he parted the water from the water somehow to create something like a sky.
We learn that in some mysterious way the water could all go to one point without releasing some of it even if EVERYTHING was full of water.
Given all that, we had day and night, the sea and the land. and before anyone could do anything to the land, God created all sorts of plants ready and fully evolved. Also animals where there fully evolved. Notice that all that life was there before there was a sun.
So after all that work he thought, "oops everything will die if there is no sun", so he put the sun, the moon and the little stars on the sky.
Now he was ready to make the birds and the fishes, which he did and he saw that he did a good job.
Then God (who is now more than one because he says "us") make the people. They made a man and a woman.
According to that all the people from today are inbreeds and I wonder why, based on that knowledge, it is forbidden to commit incest (I do not say, incest is a good thing! I just wonder, especially for Americans who think that their nation has a Christian base.).
Anyway, god have a present for the two people they made. They give them the whole earth. They say that the two people are there to rule all animals, eat from all plants that carry fruits and the animals are allowed to only eat green plants. Tigers are animals so also tigers are allowed to only eat green plants, as well as wolves and sharks and bears and.... well you get the clue.
Well we already know that there is life on earth and chapter two starts with the seventh day. We learn that the seventh day is holy, a day to rest, because God rests on that day, too.
But then it suddenly says that no plants could grow because everything was dry. But he made life on day 3 and 4 so... ... well but who cares, we are good Christians and we do not question such things.
It says there that it came wet through the earth so that plants could grow and also that god now made a man from clay and he blew into it's nostrils to give him life.
So somehow he created the man, and only the man, before the animals while we just learned that he created people after the animals... hm.... whatever we are good Christians, we do not questions such things.
He put that man into the east of the world that is kind of a ... disk
He let trees grow and he put the forbidden tree in the middle.
He told the man that he is not allowed to eat from the forbidden tree because that would be his death sentence. The forbidden tree is called "The tree of knowledge of good and evil". So God does not want the man to know the difference between good and evil but he expects him to do good. Well, who cares, we are good Christians, we do not questions such things.
We already learned in chapter one that the animals were on earth before the people but now we learn that until now only the plants and the man where there. Because now God wants to make the man less lonely by making animals for him. But nothing was a good partner for the man so God had a great idea.
Somehow he knocked the man out to perform surgery on him. He took one of his rips out and filled that spot with meat.
From that rip he made a woman. So the rip must have been huge. Maybe it was really a good thing to get that huge rip out of the man.
Even if God used a rip and no meat to make the woman, the man says that this is made of his leg and his meat and has to be called woman.
Oh, and even if he never knew something like a father or mother because he was created and he has never been a child, he also talks about them in the end of chapter two.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani
Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani is a woman in Iran who was sentenced to death for adultery.
Let's have a look at this case:
So there is a country that still has the death sentence. And adultery is one of the crimes you can die for.
Apart from the fact that no one has the right to kill anyone, how can adultery be such a bad crime as to stone someone to death for it?
And VERY important about this are two things:
No, this woman obviously thought that if she can take it just long enough, they will stop torturing and treat her fair. But they didn't and so she made it stop by confessing. And she pays for it with her life!
Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani comes from a country that has Islamic leaders. And as everyone who gets informed about things knows, that in the Islam a woman is not worth much.
If a woman gets raped in this faith system it was her fault. There is no way that it was also or only the man's fault. Because the woman has to take care that no man but her husband sees enough of her to like her. She has to hide her body and face due to that. And SHE obviously did something wrong if a man liked/wanted her!
Sounds so logical and fair, doesn't it?
So the woman gets raped and it is her crime and she would be traumatized for life even IF it would be possible to get her out of it.
Not only the rape, which is already a big deal and a reason to be traumatized.
Also that EVERYONE around her obviously thinks that it is her fault and she can do nothing about it.
Also that other then running away and hiding or going to another country there is no way to escape bad looks, bad talking, cursing.
She will always be the whore, the bitch, the woman who made a man want her.
A woman in a country like Iran has usually no own money so she can't even go and get a ticket to leave.
She will have to worry for her physical health maybe even for her life once she is back at her family. Because, let's not forget that there are honour killings and this woman brought shame over her family.
So what is better for her? Taking the barbaric death penalty of getting stoned to death or getting free by some miracle but having to deal with all the problems that would come with it.
Give fairness a chance and ban religion from government once and for all!
Let's have a look at this case:
So there is a country that still has the death sentence. And adultery is one of the crimes you can die for.
Apart from the fact that no one has the right to kill anyone, how can adultery be such a bad crime as to stone someone to death for it?
And VERY important about this are two things:
- This woman was raped
- This woman was treated like a witch in medieval times. She was tortured over 90 times until she finally confessed.
No, this woman obviously thought that if she can take it just long enough, they will stop torturing and treat her fair. But they didn't and so she made it stop by confessing. And she pays for it with her life!
Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani comes from a country that has Islamic leaders. And as everyone who gets informed about things knows, that in the Islam a woman is not worth much.
If a woman gets raped in this faith system it was her fault. There is no way that it was also or only the man's fault. Because the woman has to take care that no man but her husband sees enough of her to like her. She has to hide her body and face due to that. And SHE obviously did something wrong if a man liked/wanted her!
Sounds so logical and fair, doesn't it?
So the woman gets raped and it is her crime and she would be traumatized for life even IF it would be possible to get her out of it.
Not only the rape, which is already a big deal and a reason to be traumatized.
Also that EVERYONE around her obviously thinks that it is her fault and she can do nothing about it.
Also that other then running away and hiding or going to another country there is no way to escape bad looks, bad talking, cursing.
She will always be the whore, the bitch, the woman who made a man want her.
A woman in a country like Iran has usually no own money so she can't even go and get a ticket to leave.
She will have to worry for her physical health maybe even for her life once she is back at her family. Because, let's not forget that there are honour killings and this woman brought shame over her family.
So what is better for her? Taking the barbaric death penalty of getting stoned to death or getting free by some miracle but having to deal with all the problems that would come with it.
Give fairness a chance and ban religion from government once and for all!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Leaving a religion
continuing from the last entry "Sliding into a religion"
So how to get out.
Sometimes not so easy.
There are two ways:
-> The way to just leave and break contacts and simply be never seen again.
-> The way to kind of fade away nearly unnoticed
The second way is not possible in many cases. Because people will try to frighten the person who wants to leave. And don't think "if you wanna leave, just do it". It is not that easy.
You are in there. You totally have some weird dogma and rules in your head. And even if all those things are wrong in your opinion, you can't just rip those things off, that have been hammered into you for a long time.
So sometimes a person gets frightened, let's have a look at those scary things:
You have your reasons why you want to leave.
You have intern informations.
You might try to convince other members to leave.
You might try to get public to convince many people to never join in the first place
You are no longer paying into their pockets.
IF they do illegal things you might even go to the police with prove.
So what should you do in the case that you can't just fade away unnoticed?
Of course noone will scare you that bad if you just leave catholic church or so. But well there are enough sick religious movements around that will get heavy on you.
So, no matter how bad they will act on you, once you decided to leave, you are going to do it. You will not care about hurting anyone and you will not look back. If you are not very sure you want to leave, don't, because that is a weakness they will use to get you back.
If you are sure, there is nothing that can hold you anymore.
If there are things you are in charge of, don't care about it. Don't try to get everything in order before you leave. That gives others signs and you might be observed (depending on what religious movement you are in)
They will deal with it when they see that no matter what they do, they can not get you back.
So how to get out.
Sometimes not so easy.
There are two ways:
-> The way to just leave and break contacts and simply be never seen again.
-> The way to kind of fade away nearly unnoticed
The second way is not possible in many cases. Because people will try to frighten the person who wants to leave. And don't think "if you wanna leave, just do it". It is not that easy.
You are in there. You totally have some weird dogma and rules in your head. And even if all those things are wrong in your opinion, you can't just rip those things off, that have been hammered into you for a long time.
So sometimes a person gets frightened, let's have a look at those scary things:
- "If you leave you can never come back!"
Yes, this is frightning, because you made friends and don't wanna disappoint them. Also if you chose to leave now and find out that you were wrong you will have a problem. - "If you want to leave you have to go now!"
Yes this is frightning, because most likely you did not intend to leave NOW but organize some stuff so everything is ready to leave. Like finding an apartment and job in another city, get in contact with old friends and your family, etc. - "You can't leave once you joined us. We are going to find you and bring you back!"
Yes, you might have signed something, and they really might try to find you and bring you back. And once you are back, your life will be a mess. Noone will treat you like before because you became the black sheep. - "You can't leave once you joined us. We are going to lock you up so you can't go!"
Some really f***ed up organizations do that so you will just say that you have to think about it a bit longer and you WILL freaking leave without telling them a word!
You have your reasons why you want to leave.
You have intern informations.
You might try to convince other members to leave.
You might try to get public to convince many people to never join in the first place
You are no longer paying into their pockets.
IF they do illegal things you might even go to the police with prove.
So what should you do in the case that you can't just fade away unnoticed?
- You are not going to tell anyone that you intend to leave! Not even your "best friend".
- If you have to fear the group once you left, your very fist destination will be a police station! You have to explain the situation and not make it sound less.
- You are not going to pack many bags when you leave! Just take your passport if you have acces to it and the most important papers like drivers license, birth certificate, etc
- Once you are out and you talked to the police (if that was nessesary) you are going to call people you trust, like old friends or your family or a church if you are religious...
- If you have children, you are not going to tell them beforehand. You will just take them at some point, say you make a trip or something, and go. If you tell them before, they might tell it to someone, don't forget they might still be very brainwashed.
- If you have a partner who does not want to leave, you will not tell him that you do. You can get in contact with him once you are out and safe.
Of course noone will scare you that bad if you just leave catholic church or so. But well there are enough sick religious movements around that will get heavy on you.
So, no matter how bad they will act on you, once you decided to leave, you are going to do it. You will not care about hurting anyone and you will not look back. If you are not very sure you want to leave, don't, because that is a weakness they will use to get you back.
If you are sure, there is nothing that can hold you anymore.
If there are things you are in charge of, don't care about it. Don't try to get everything in order before you leave. That gives others signs and you might be observed (depending on what religious movement you are in)
They will deal with it when they see that no matter what they do, they can not get you back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)