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Sunday, November 6, 2011


  • A philosophy about life?
  • A form of atheism?
  • Hatred against Jahwe (the god of the bible)?
  • A form of rebellion?
  • Black magic?
  • Dangerous?
  • CoS (Church of Satan)

To get into it we need a basis and a few facts:
Satanism got it's name back in the times when christianity started rising.
The name "Satanism" has a long story. In short, a few stories got confused and mixed up in a weird way (greek myth about Helios, the fallen angel / angel got thrown out of heaven, the morning star in Isaiah/Bible).
So back then there was christianity starting to rise, and everyone who did not believe in christianity or dared to question something were said to be Satanist. So at this time Satan was the opposite of Jahwe (the god of the bible) if you want. So if you did not follow Jahwe you automatically were said to follow Satan. All kinds of things were made up, always pretty much the opposite of what was meant to be good and christian > black messes, demons, rituals, to name a few.

So for a long long time this is what was said to be Satanism and of course during trial there were forced confessions that underlined all this so after some time people did believe it.
But we don't want to forget, at this point, that it only started with people who simply didn't believe / questioned the belief.

So what is Satanism?

Actually there is no real Satanism. Yes, I dare say that. Why? I met so many people who told me they were Satanists. I am not judgemental and I never was, so I asked what exactly they believed AND I listened carefully.

So we go with the list from the top:

  • Philosophy about life
    Everyone is "their own god" meaning embrace yourself. Question everything, don't follow blindly. Do what you want as long as you don't hurt anyone. Stay within the laws. Follow your dreams and your own targets. Take what you need / want. Don't care about what others think / say.
  • Some kind of atheism
    A bit like what was mentioned above but with the strong "there is no god" mixed into it.
  • Hatred against Jahwe
    Mostly people who are or used to be christians. Who got disappointed in some way. The community / church / priest / the bible / god didn't help / praying didn't work / lost someone important / lost something important / etc.
    Ending up with a statement of hate against the god of the bible, turning the back on it and following Satan who seems more real.
  • A form of rebellion
    Being different is something many people want and need. And especially want to show. Shocking people with "I am Satanist" and showing that one is different. Often this is gets really dangerous, depending on the people you get in touch with.
  • Black magic
    No. Black magic is something different. There is no direct connection to satanism. There are people who call themselfes Satanist and "do" black magic as well as the other way around but not every Satanist is into black or any magic.
  • Dangerous
    There are in fact some cults out there that are very dangerous and call themselfes Satanists. Those who actually kill and hurt people and animals, who do perform all kinds of rituals, who do illegal things.
  • CoS
    Actually believe in the real existance of Satan. They do have a book just like the bible, they preach and you can actually be an official member.

So, there is no definition of Satanism that just fits.
Sorry to disappoint.

And as always, wanna add something, just answer to the post or if you want to say something but not publicly, mail me: clos3rlook[at]gmail[dot]com

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Militant Atheism

What comes to my mind when I read the title "militant atheism"?
  • a lot of arguing
  • never being able to listen and/or shut up for a minute
  • constantly bragging about your disbeliefe
  • trying to convince people
I must say, I do not like this.
Why are there so many people who can't control their urge to babble on?
You can never help someone into reason by ignoring their concerns, thoughts, teachings. Even if you have been at the very same point, you are not inside that persons head. You may know their answers in advance, you may know a lot, but you will not help anyone by cutting into a sentence, by getting loud in your argument, by throwing numbers and facts in their faces, by being in anyway aggressive.
Just think how you would react if some religious person would act like that towards you. You'd shut down immediately and get pretty angry for sure.

If you do have the urge to "convert" people into atheism then get down to their level no matter how ridiculous it seems to you.
Reason inside their believe system, question inside their horizon.
There are so many simple things inside their own teachings, that you can point out already without adding all your own stuff. So start small, and IF (yes only IF) you find a little hole of doubt in them you can use that but don't try to stab them. It is no use, you will get frustrated and they just shut down.

I for my part do not try to make someone an atheist. I am happy that I am out of religion and I am happy that, where I live, I can't be harmed for my disbelieve. If people ask me about my opinion or views on religious topics I make clear that I do not believe and that is normally enough.
I answer but I do not force anything on anyone.

There is a fine line between being honest and being a missionary. Think about it.

And here the video that inspired this post:

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Run For Life

On 2nd July 2011 there is a "Run For Life". People will run against abortion.

There are such runs every now and then, for cancer, aids, poor people, and lots of other things.
Raise awareness, yes. But raise it in the right way!

Why would you run against abortion?
I would rather run for it...

Here a bit of brainstorming:

Contra abortion:
  • Seeing the cells that are evolving into a baby as life already and therefore seeing an abortion as murder.
  • Give the unwanted kid a future in a family that will be happy to have a baby because they can't have one naturally.
Pro abortion:
  • Forcing a woman that does not want a baby (for whatever reason) may result in a crime. Thinking about dead babies in bushes and trash cans here.
  • Having abortion illegal helps a black market for illegal abortions or having people simply abort in another country.
  • Some woman may have to carry out a child from a rape. This will damage her psychological for a long time, being reminded of that bad crime that happened to her for 9 month continuously.
  • Some people might not be ready to it, bouncing back to the rape, which also happens to younger women teens or girls, some get pregnant, but their bodies are not ready to carry out a baby, so a birth or even just letting it grow inside might be a hight risk.
  • Scared women who life with abusive partners or families, have to hide the pregnancy and once it is not possible anymore they might just abort the baby themselve, of course under high risk again, but if you are scared out of your mind you will do such things.
  • Baby stays in the family but feels it is not wanted, not loved, abused.
  • Carrying out a baby that will have huge defects that will make it unable to ever life an own life and stay dependent for ever might be worse than not being born at all.

Anything to add, just Comment

Saturday, June 25, 2011

becoming freethinker

This is part 2 of 2.

I do this for two groups of people out there:
Group one: Those who are not sure if it is ok to think outside religious dogma.
Group two: Religious people who honestly want to know how someone can be honest and moral etc without religion.

As you saw from part one of this little series it is a long way to free yourself. Religious brainwashing sits deep. This religious brainwashing makes you think - let's say - "unfree".
And you have to free yourself, you have to start questioning things you never thought about, you have to look at things from a different angle.

What? How?

Well maybe start with reading the scripture that used to be the base of your faith from cover to cover. Research the "facts" in that scripture. Don't be happy with what you know already, go through it again.

Being a freethinker is not only about religion of course. But starting with your old scriptures is a good starter because this is what dictated you for a long time and without looking over it critically you can't make a real opinion about moral, social structures, politics, right, wrong, laws, etc.
You will start looking at todays life, you will find your own definition of moral, right, wrong and other things.
Don't think it is a process of one or two weeks. It takes years.

From my experience (because this is how the series started):

From a very early age my mother let me decide a lot of things. Like what relion I want to have, later it was what school I want to attend, and other more or less important things. When I had questions they got answered or I got pointed to the answer so I would have to figure it out on my own.

Not only that, I had to make some big desicions about my life all the way. Just to name a few:
When I was 11 I decided where to live, mother or father.
When I was 15 I got my mom to bring my brothers to my father cause he could deal with them better.
When I was 18 I kicked out my brother from home.

I never did these things to hurt someone and all the things I decided resulted in an improvement of living quality. Sometimes, even at only 15 years old, I would maybe pressure my mother, my brother, friends to do something but in the end they always saw it was a good thing.

Like kicking out my brother who made life for us too hard, he lied and drank and took drugs and would never never listen to what my mother says, and when he came back one night aggressive, fighting and talking about the gun he had hidden and then left because my mother got angry about that, that is when I packed his things and told him to leave once he came back, while my mother sat there in shock not being sure. BUT it helped us all. My brother very soon understood and changed, my mother got more relaxed and I had peace too.

So I was risen a religios freethinker if you want. The brain works very complicated. You put religion and the hole god thing into another "box".
So from the beginning, thinking for myself, deciding a lot of important things for me and with my family made me very sceptical and curios.

Learning and reading are good things, you grow on the things you understand. And starting to talk to others, really listening, really discussing things makes you think more and more on your own. You get to have real opinions, not dictated from someone or something (like an old scripture).

If something is still unclear, feel free to comment or send me a mail to: clos3rlook(at)gmail(dot)com

becoming atheist

This is part 1 of 2.
In this first part I will tell you how I became an atheist.

I do this for two groups of people out there:
Group one: Those who feel weird about not having a clear opinion about what they are, not sure if they are atheist, people on their way out of religion.
Group two: Religious people who honestly want to know how someone "loses faith".

When I was about 17 my mother told me how she found faith/god one day. It was kind of her special experience on a pretty sad day when she finally ended up in a good mood. Not going too much into detail here, it is her personal story.

But this is how it started that religion played a role in my life. I was a little kid and until school started religion did not play any role in my life. Not at all. We had Christmas and the Easter bunny but I didn't know about the religious part of it.
So when my mother found religion it was on me to chose for school which religion lessons I would like attend. Catholic or protestant. So I was six years old by that time and I had to chose. I chose protestant because I liked the teacher. And I liked the stories he told us in the religious classes. We read together from our book and so on, he was fun. But after half a year he left the school and we got a different teacher and so I asked if I can switch over to catholic. So I got to switch.
On weekends I would get lessons from a nun at the place my mother lived with my brothers. The lessons where about God and about right and wrong, heaven and hell. It was for me to be prepared for my baptism. I liked the nun, and I liked church service. It was all in all a really good experience, nothing bad at all.
The day when I got baptized was great. Everyone was happy, I got to hold that huge candle, got a nice dress. I did not understand why it had to be done but it was definitely a good experience and I knew that now I am a member of the church, officially.

I can't remember my father sticking around a lot with us. He was mostly not home, I do not have a lot of memories of him. My mother and father were married at the time but it didn't work so well so sometimes he was there, sometimes not.
At some point we moved to a small village in Bavaria and got pretty active in the church community. Choir and bible week and youth groups and and and. They were very active there and we where very involved.
We went to church every Sunday. The Priest was really nice and he made church service for children very interesting and interactive.
This was about the time when I first heard about sin and hell and heaven. And as everyone was afraid of sin and hell of course I was also. I wanted to be a good kid. So from the moment I learnt what sin means I was very afraid to go to hell. I would tell my mother literally everything and she would send me to the priest to confess to get clean again. And I did that a lot.
First communion was important for me. We got told we get to kind of marry God. We had to be good kids, confess before so we are without sin.
I had nothing to confess. There was nothing at the moment I had to step into the little chamber where my group did the confessions. So I said that I dropped my guinea pig by mistake. I got to pray one prayer 6 times. But the prayer had nothing to do with my confession, for me it made no sense, though of course i prayed.

Shortly after this, maybe I was about 10, my parents divorced and I had to stay with my father. He did not believe in God, he did not send me to church or talk about religion with me, there was no prayer before eating. Nothing. I asked him about it, and he said "because I don't believe there is a God"

This was the first little seed in me.

For kids the adults and especially the parents are always right. So I had something contradicting in my mind now. He was the first person in my life who did not believe something that played a big role in my life before.
Religion took most of my spare time until that point. I had some different opinions about some things in religion but I had not questioned the fact that there is a God. It was just given and totally logical. There is the big father in heaven who is looking down and helping and thinking of me and hearing me.

The seed my father planted in me was good. It made me think. Even when I had moved to my mother shortly after. For some reason it made a lot of sense to me that there might not be a God.
I had a pretty difficult, hard time back then already. And I had been taught that God is loving and caring and all-knowing, that God will help those in need, that all I had to do was pray to him. Well I did pray but for some reason nothing ever happened.

I remember actually arguing with my mother about the fact that I did not want to go to church anymore and she told me to go. So of course I went, the priest would have noticed me not being there anyway and I did not want to get in trouble.

This was when my choice was pretty much made. And I sinned for the first time without confessing. While my mother was at church service I took something like 1 or 2 DM (deutsche mark) from her purse and before church i went to get some ice cream.
I didn't tell her and I didn't tell the priest. I told no one and i was not afraid to go to hell. My problem with hell was solved because if there is no God there is no hell. It was my own choice to do right or wrong. For a few weeks I chose to do that with the icecream, and at some point I actually felt bad about it. Not because of hell but because I started to realize that this is not my money, that someone worked for it, and it is not fair to take it, so I decided to stop it.

About one or two years later we moved into another village.
I went to church there exactly once, I hated it and I told my mother that I won't go again. And she accepted it.

I didn't know the word atheist by that time but I knew that I do not believe in God anymore.
It felt weird. I was 13 by that time. Sometimes I found myself feeling observed. I had a weird feeling that someone is observing everyone of my steps but never revealing himself. Somehow the whole religious life before had not worn off at all. Sometimes I felt I had to pray, sometimes I felt I should go to church in the old village, sometimes I missed the activities. It took me about 4 years (10 - 14) to really get over it.

Then we moved again, into a bigger city nearby. Religion didn't have any role in my life anymore but the fact that i felt I had to believe in something. This was the only thing remaining. "I can't just not believe in anything" So I started looking for the right religion. I read about a lot of different ways of believing, systems I liked and did not like. What I liked a lot was Buddhism for the simple fact that there is not God but Buddha who is no god. I also started being interested in witchcraft a little.

When I was 15 I got the third catholic sacrament. I didn't do it for me but for my mother who would have been very sad otherwise (though she wouldn't confess that).

When I was 21 I switched over to the protestant church. I did not believe in it at all anymore, neither in Buddhism, witchcraft was interesting for me though. Very interesting indeed. I switched churches for the fact that for my profession I had to stay in some church and I got to the point where I hated catholic church so I left.
Privately I got very active in witchcraft which, by now, I would call it a religion but that's a topic for another day.
It stayed like that until I was 25. Though the more things I tried to do with all my cool witchcraft powers and energies from the universe, the less it worked.
And I discovered that in fact I can't do anything without actually doing it instead of just thinking it. And I started reading a lot and trying even harder and even more but nothing worked.
I used the Internet to find out more, watch clips, read things. About witchcraft, about different religions.
And during all the searching and reading it became clear to me that all these believe systems are bogus.

I am 27 years old now at the time I am posting this, and only now I can say I am almost completely free.
I am atheist which means I do not believe in God. I would say I am agnostic atheist because I can't know but evidence points against an existence of a God.

I am also a Freethinker, and this is what I will talk about in Part 2.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

experiment with your mind

A little experiment for you:
Think about your hobbies. What do you like? Walking the dog? Maybe playing some Backgammon? Chatting online? Did you find something? Your favourite hobby? Can you find a noun that discribes you as a person with this hobby? Like Tennis Player or Environmentalist...
Now think about your favourit animal please. Got it? Same thing as before, is there a noun? Are you a "Cat Person" or a "Dog lover" or something else?
Next one!
Your lifestyle. Are you an "Early bird", a "Vegiterian", a "Sleepy head", a "Smoker", a "Couch Potato", even more than one?

How many nouns like that did you find for yourself? 5, 10, more?

Maybe by now you get where I am going with this. If not:
People tend to put labels on everything. It is in our nature, it helps us understanding the world better. And there is in general nothing wrong with it.
We are social and like to be in groups that share same interest, and how build groups like that if we do not label ourselves.

But there is a label that some people in that group just refuse to use. It has such a bad "spirit".
"Atheist" a person that does not believe in a God or in Gods. This is all. But the word has this weird power to make a person with that label seem bad.
Why is that so?
Well If the majority of people around you use it in a negative way it gets stuck in your mind like that period. If you grow up in a very religious place and people keep talking about atheists in a very negative way then this is what you associate with it and if you finally discover that somehow you do not believe and should call yourself that you get a weird feeling of "i don't want to be called that".

Not only from that perspective

The other point is, if I am labelling myself with things I don't like or believe in I will get a ridicolously long list of things. We already have our long list from the beginning with things we do like. Now do we need that for the opposite too? I am a "no beer drinker" and a "a-unicornist" and a "no TV owner" and a "no ego shooter player" and a "a-flying spagettimonsterist" and a lot more. Get the point.

What did I want to say here?
>> If you do not like to label yourself but don't try to stop others labelling you because you can't.
>> If you are an atheist and you do not like the word, don't use it but don't expect others to stop using it.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Preparing your kids

Some atheist parents in very religious countries might have concerns about preschools / schools.
Reasonable to be concerned if you do not wish your child to be educated in religion or to attend on religious services.
Often there is the possibility to "opt out" your child of all religious activities.

Two examples:

In Germany you can decide wether your child takes the subject "religion" or "ethics". This is very easy, parents simply decide this and as schools mostly are managed by the state or city, there is no problem.

In Ireland you can opt out you kid of the subject "religion" but the default would be to take it. Problem there is, that your kid has no right to be supervised during the time it does not attend. This is because most schools there are church regulated.

But it is not only school, subjects that you might worry about.

People are talking. Kids can be cruel to each other when one is singled out on some activities (like in this case religious activities).
So you might wanna prepare your kids for this situation as well as for being asked questions or getting into conversations.

Maybe a few ideas - a bit of brainstorming - for parents:

When they are toddlers (about 0 - 2 yrs) there is not yet much to prepare them for.
Even if they are in a religious environment, they don't yet understand or process the concepts of religion.
But once they reach preschool and school age (about 3+ years) you want them to be in a mindset that is healthy and strong already.
A few questions and answers that might come up during kindergarten and school:

Q: Why can't/don't we celebrate easter,christmas, thanksgiving, xyz?

A: Because we do not share the religion. They believe in some things that we do not believe in, but we have our own celebrations that they don't have.

Q: Can we visit the church/mosque/monestary?

A: Yes, we can!

YES you can!!! Very important. Never make it forbidden, visit, explain things there, but do this from an "outsider position". For example "Look, this is where the Jews pray. The women sit here and the men sit there and look they wear those little hats. Do you see this roll, it is there scriptiure where they read their stories from. Like the book about animals we have at home. They read the stories to each other like we do at home."

Q: Why do they believe xyz?

Now this is of course very tricky, you as an adult know how but, explaining all these social, political and personal things is not only long but also boring for a kid. Something that might be a good idea, to actually talk to people who believe. Friends, preachers... But make sure that you are available for any questions after that, so your kid doesn't get confused about things.

Q: Why do we not believe in xyz?

First explain what "believe" in this context means, then explain why. Reason, proof, etc

Of course these are just some ideas, you might find better ways.

Something that sounds logical but lots of parents do not think about this for some reason:

Only explain as far as your child understands and is able to process. To tell a 4-yrs old child about social and political or even psychological things about religion doesn't work. They don't understand it yet. Keep it simple and the older your child gets the more detailed you can be when you explain things. You can talk about it with a 14 year old person in much greater detail. Don't force anything but stay available.

If you have more ideas, hints, experience feel free to comment.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

God Bless You - I Will Pray For You

Ok I as an atheist living in a very Christian country hear that. Especially around Christmas, Easter time, etc. But also on other occasions like helping an old lady crossing the street (yes there are still people out there, doing that).

Many atheists react almost allergic to "God bless you" or "I will pray for you"

There are certain points I would like to address on this matter:

1. Some of the people actually really mean what they say. They are thankful or want to simply wish you something nice. They say it with a smile on their faces and a glow in their eyes. Yes, they mean it. They believe in God and in prayer and they know that what they just said is something very nice. They assume that you are believing what they believe and that you find it very nice to be told something like that.

2. Some people use it as a "f*** you". That's often in situations when they know they can't argue, or they are annoyed, sad, etc. And a line like "I am sorry you can't understand my point of view. I will pray for you" Meaning "I hope you will understand soon but for now I am not open to discuss more!" or in short "leave me the f*** alone!" will be very annoying to you but grow up, get over it. Taking it as offence is only stressful for you and not helping or changing anything.

I made a few observations and found out some stuff when it is about "God bless you" and so on.
I do not believe and I don't have to agree on the religion but nice people who want to tell you something nice around Christmas time they want you to say something nice back. They say "Merry Christmas" and (by now) I respond the same way. I smile and say, "Thanks, you too" and then I close the door and live my atheist life. Saying it won't kill me, I do not have to go to church on Sunday mornings, when sane people sleep. I will not tell them "I will pray for you" and I will not be the first in the conversation who says "Happy Thanksgiving" but I will respond nicely.

I also know that many atheist are so allergic to it because they don't really understand something important. It is not simple ignorance that makes those people say that. They are brought up in a system where you get to think very religious, where you know that people around you either think your way or will think your way soon if you work on them. Their religious behaviour also has a way of talking in it. Wishes like "God bless you" and "I will pray for you" are so deeply stuck in them that you will not get it out of them, especially not if you react totally pissed.

Any of you atheists out there who tells me that a "thanks god!" or something similar never slips out of there mouth sometimes is a liar. Sorry to say that.
Yes religion is so hard to get out of you and me.
Don't blame those who are still brainwashed for your unhappiness that it is still not completely out of you....

Cheers and 'till next time